Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
