So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
