Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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