Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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