You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
