I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize