using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
