Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
