I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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