oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
