Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
