that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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