My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
