did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
