Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
