It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
