you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize