summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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