I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
