I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize