Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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