At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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