Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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