Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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