I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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