Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
