Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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