Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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