Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
