So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
