she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
