real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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