She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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