hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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