So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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