he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
