At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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