Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
