I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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