is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
