so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
