He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
