she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i now understand why vodka
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
