kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
