Do you still have your period?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
