why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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