Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
