batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
