The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
