...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
