She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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