a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the day after is always just damage control
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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