Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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