whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
