i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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