you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
