I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
