i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
