youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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