Nicole vs. Life
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
