Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize