return my video game
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
