In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
