I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
