I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
