Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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