Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
