Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
