those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
