ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
