I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
