I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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