my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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