you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
