just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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