next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
